Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Bad Dog Bad Dog

Yesterday was an appointment with the Dermatologist, so I thought. I started early as leaving my 'castle' is not ever a mad dash. It is a ritual. A ritual for the DOGS.

Holden recently had surgery. She is recovering and has a laundry list of meds. She is a bad pill taker. Bad eye drop taker. Bad liquid drops in the mouth taker.  BAD DOG BAD DOG. 
So I started early. Put pills in pill pocket; drops in wet dog food on top of dry dog food.
 Gave pepcid for stomach ache prevention from previous meds.

Then it was time to start with putting Beignet in a place of isolation from Holden while I take Holden out to relieve herself.  Beignet of the PIN HEAD BIG BUTT.
Beignet is so enamored with Holden that any chance she gets to jump, lick, sniff or wrestle with her is her form of doggy heaven. So in order to let Holden out using the least amount of steps, my choices are:
1. Putting Beignet in her kennel. You try that one...
2. Bringing PIN HEAD BIG BUTT outside to the yard. This done while she intermittently grabs leash in teeth and tugs, wraps her paws around my legs to stop me in my tracks, jumps up and down trying to release herself from her pull chain collar.

As Beignet had not yet been out for her late am romp in the yard I chose option #2. We actually made it to the yard with little difficulty. Yay.

Then let Holden out through mudroom door (least amount of steps), watched with oh so much interest as she did her 'business'. Gahhh!!! Bring Holden back in and started getting dressed in clothes other than doggy smelling clothes.

Was ready for appointment that is 40 to 45 minutes away. 

*Note to self...time to change to a Dr that works actually in the same city in which we live.

Go outside to bring PIN HEAD BIG BUTT dog inside before I am gone for the afternoon. Wouldn't want the poor animal to suffer outside when she could be in the comfort of my kitchen she has been slowly decimating like a termite.

Place leash and pull chain collar on PIN HEAD, walk outside of gate. Turn to close gate. Up comes PIN HEAD off comes collar. Spend forty five minutes alternately pleading, chasing, crouching down on ground crying like a baby to get her to come. Oh, PIN HEAD BIG BUTT comes. Comes, laughs at me, takes treats and runs off. *Please note photo above. This is Beignet doing her sitting still PIN HEAD put a collar on her!

I go inside to inform the Dr's receptionist I will be too late to get to appt. Get lovely recording telling me they are still at lunch and if this an emergency hang up and call 911. REALLY? For a dog on the run???

Go back outside with wet dog food can reserved for Holden's meds. Place food in my hand. (I just love the feel and smell of wet dog food, don't you?) FYI, that was said in a sarcastic tone, hard to know in written form.
 Cry like a baby,  here comes BIG BUTT PIN HEAD BEIGNET.  She laps my hand, another tactile feeling not so much a fan of, and then she sticks PIN HEAD in can of dog food. Aha! I place veterinary leash/loopy thing around her head. CAPTURED!

Return inside to again call Dr office. Receptionist answers, I go into humiliated apology of being unable to reach office in time. She asks for my date of birth. WHATTTTT I am worn out, humiliated by dog and now you want to rub it in my face I am also OLD? Give the chirpery chippery receptionist information she so rudely needs and she starts to chuckle. Chuckle at me! Not to worry, the appointment is for next day!


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