Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mother's Day

Mom and my Birthday Boy
Mother's Day is an emotional mine field for me. I have five beautiful grown adult children I cherish. I love being their mother. I went into labor with my first born child on Mother's Day. It was all very exciting and I've always considered Mother's Day sort of 'our' day. When his birthday and Mother's Day are on the same day I still do. My grandchildren enhance all the joys of motherhood. It's not just a Hallmark day, it is a day to celebrate and hold dear those that are the reason for having Mother's Day.

This all changed for me the year my Mother passed away. I thought I was doing fine. I planned a low key family gathering...I didn't want my kids to feel they had lost both their Gramma and Momma at the same time. What I wasn't expecting was the full blown, knock me to my knees feeling I had when I turned the corner in the grocery store and landed on the card aisle. I had stayed away from all the Hallmark Stores, but completely forgot the grocery stores now have card/party aisles. It hit me in my heart that I would never again have 'my' Mom to send a card to, call on the phone, take to lunch...all the fun things we would do to celebrate 'Mom'. I left the grocery cart right there in the aisle praying I could keep the tears hidden until I was alone in the car. 

My Dad died in October...four months later my Mom died. It is an understatement to say it was a very hard time in my life. They had evacuated here after hurricane Katrina flooded the Assisted Living facility where they lived in New Orleans. We weren't able to bury either of them in the cemetery in New Orleans until the month after my Mom died. The cemeteries were busy trying to repair the flood damage. So, although Mom died in March of that year, we had a memorial service for them in April. And yes...Mother's Day is May. 

My son's birthday is on Mother's Day this year. I will joyously celebrate his birth and the privilege of being mother to my five children. As many of our children and grandchildren that are able to make it to a luncheon will be there. We will be happy, but tucked in my heart will be the missing piece of the day...my Mom.

I know I am not alone in having to face Mother's Day without my Mother's physical presence. For those who are facing this whether for the first or after many years, I send you my love and empathy. As a Mother myself...I know we are meant to enjoy the day; I know without a doubt my Mom would want me to celebrate the day. Still, I will keep that place in my heart and find a quiet time in the day to remember...

Loves~Loves~Loves~

12 comments:

jabblog said...

Sweet and sad memories - that's life.

Shady Del Knight said...

What a terribly difficult year it must have been for you, dear Sush, with Katrina devastating your beloved New Orleans, your parents uprooted, the death of your mother and shortly thereafter, your father. Sometimes it seems we are given all we can possibly handle and endure, one thing after another, in a very short period of time.

I feel your lingering pain this day. I lost my mother in 1995. She died February 15, the day after Valentine's Day. I'll never forget the beautiful Valentine card my dad bought for her and placed next to her bed in the hospital. She was barely conscious, groggy with medication, and never even got a chance to read it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today and tomorrow. Please celebrate all that remains and all that is good about life.

Francene Stanley said...

Everthing in the world is created and then dies. Your mother's unique personality will remain, even though her body has left you. Remember the good in her, as I do with my mother.

Kathi said...

Thanks for sharing such thoughts about Mother's day... and your wonderful, and very-much-missed Mom... When they leave us there is a huge empty place where only a mother's love can fill, but we are so blessed to have had them... and their love remains with... and ours with them.

thisisme said...

Hi Sush. Oh my, I am quite tearful after just reading your post. It must have been so awful for your mum and dad to have to uproot from New Orleans like that and so sad for all your family that they died so close to each other. I don't know how you got through that time my friend. I pray that they died peacefully. When we have lost our mums, Mothers Day can really be quite an emotional time. Like you, it's the cards that do it every time for me. They are everywhere and it always hits me with regret that I don't have a mum to buy a card for anymore. We just have to hold on to our loving memories of our dear mums, and know that they will always live on in our hearts. I hope you have a very special day on Sunday surrounded by the love of your family. Much love from your friend across the pond.

Janie Junebug said...

I understand completely. I wish I could send a card and flowers to my mom, but she's been gone almost 20 years. As I get older, I miss my parents more.

Love,
Janie

Claudia Moser said...

Such an emotional post, to be honest I cannot imagine my life witout my mom!

Shelly said...

Big hugs to you, my friend. I'm so glad you've got wonderful things to celebrate tomorrow.

Barbara F. said...

Sush, my heart was sad as I read this post. But I believe they are with you always in spirit and with your children, too. I also avoided card stores for the longest time after my dad died, and then again when my mom passed. I am grateful to have had the parents I did, they were kind, wonderful, gentle people, and I have wonderful memories, as I am sure you do too. xo

Jennifer Hoppins said...

Dear Sush, I was very moved by your story of grief at losing both of your parents. I hope you feel your mom's love through everything, and can find some comfort that every wonderful, loving thought about her rises up in a shining bubble of love, more beautiful to her now than a paper card.

Empty Nester said...

The husband faces that on Mother's Day now. I don't...yet. Though I know it will come. It's crazy how things hit us when we least expect it.

yaya said...

I can feel the pain you have in your heart and can only hope the great memories of your Mom will be of some comfort. I too have a Mother's Day baby..who turned 33 this year! I'm grateful that my Mom is still with us. Her birthday is this Friday and she'll be 87. I think God let her be with us this long because he took my Dad at a young age. I think of him every Father's Day. My husband has lost both his parents also and these "celebrations" are hard for him too.